The One with the Start of the Second Term
September 11, 2006
7:52pm
Celebrating the 5th Anniversary of the 9/11 WTC attack.
Today at 4:45am, my alarm clock sprang to life and so did, unfortunately, my day.
I've always been feeling half and half about the start of another term, the continuation of even more studying. To be quite honest, I can't imagine just how I came to this point in my life where I am already in college. Call me the person who gets the mondo late reactions, but it's kind of freaking me out here. I've always been the type to always keep imagining myself as a high school student. The high school student who would eternally listen to her older college cousins talk about just that (college, I mean) and talk about subjects that I never, in my life, would ever be caught dead studying in high school. I always thought that I would forever be talking to my cousins who were my age about the crappiness of Noli Me Tangere or the torture of Geometry and the dreadful pain of Chemistry. These were things that I never imagined straying from, no matter how much I hated them. Those subjects, thoughts and events that I thought I would never part with, and yet here I am, almost about a year or so later, not even being able to meet up with my cousins because our parents don't seem to be putting much effort on getting together, choosing what combination and what outfit to wear every single day (double checking if I've already worn the exact same thing once before), killing myself to remember what room I've supposed to be in at this exact time, trying to remember what section I am in a certain subject (A-something, something), hopping aboard metal tubes that zoom and can't even keep its balance, riding in smoggy old scrap metal vehicles that don't even correct you if you pay for a regular fee and not a student's fee and waking up in the morning to the sound of that oh, so beautiful wake up call that just makes you want to pound on something hard.
But, whatever. The point is, I woke up at 4:45am today. Haha. Why? Because I have a 7 o' clock class, dammit. And why did I have a 7 o' clock class? Well, it's because it's the start of sem-two of year one of five years. I hope you got that. Even if during the first term, I thought it went by like zip. Nuh-uh. This day was just pure, "But I don't want to go to school" Syndrome. It's amazing since never in my life have I wanted to not go to school. Ever. More than I do now. It's not so much that the subjects are crappy, the professors are boring and the block is bleh. No, not at all. In fact, my subjects, professors (so far), and especially my block are totally cool. I am just lazy.
I. Am. Lazy. Period. Dot. End.
That's the reason I got cranky all day. I don't know why the hell I feel so lazy and can't wait to go home when during the break, I couldn't wait to just get out of the house. It just goes to show just how uncontent human beings are in this world. I am no exemption and I admit that I am not easily contented--if I have ever been, anyway.
No worries though. Unlike I was before, I now have simple joys that take my day up and up and high and high. They're really simple and I'm really glad that I now have them. Unfortunately, with the exemption of this lovely "First Day High" (note: sarcasm), little things have a tendency to just tick me off. Luckily, I kept most of that to myself. Haha. I'm patting myself in the back right now...it's hard though. Anyway, simple joys; back to simple joys. These little things have kept me going in this strange time of adjustment. I suppose now its another replay of that--like a recurring dream that changes place or people, but not the event. You know? I guess that, despite all the laziness, procrastination and bitterness about going to school again (university, Mishie. Not school, university. Haha. Whatever), it is still another chance of renewal. After looking at myself, analyzing my first term. I still think I could have done better. It is true, that while I did make large changes and steps in my academic and personal life, I still have, and there always is, room for improvement.
I'm taking that room. And I'm making it mine.
This second term? Hah. Watch out. Right after I'm done with my denial phase (I still think it's vacation), I'll be back on my feet and ready to punch that semester in the face. I'm coming back.
With a vengence.
7:52pm
Celebrating the 5th Anniversary of the 9/11 WTC attack.
Today at 4:45am, my alarm clock sprang to life and so did, unfortunately, my day.
I've always been feeling half and half about the start of another term, the continuation of even more studying. To be quite honest, I can't imagine just how I came to this point in my life where I am already in college. Call me the person who gets the mondo late reactions, but it's kind of freaking me out here. I've always been the type to always keep imagining myself as a high school student. The high school student who would eternally listen to her older college cousins talk about just that (college, I mean) and talk about subjects that I never, in my life, would ever be caught dead studying in high school. I always thought that I would forever be talking to my cousins who were my age about the crappiness of Noli Me Tangere or the torture of Geometry and the dreadful pain of Chemistry. These were things that I never imagined straying from, no matter how much I hated them. Those subjects, thoughts and events that I thought I would never part with, and yet here I am, almost about a year or so later, not even being able to meet up with my cousins because our parents don't seem to be putting much effort on getting together, choosing what combination and what outfit to wear every single day (double checking if I've already worn the exact same thing once before), killing myself to remember what room I've supposed to be in at this exact time, trying to remember what section I am in a certain subject (A-something, something), hopping aboard metal tubes that zoom and can't even keep its balance, riding in smoggy old scrap metal vehicles that don't even correct you if you pay for a regular fee and not a student's fee and waking up in the morning to the sound of that oh, so beautiful wake up call that just makes you want to pound on something hard.
But, whatever. The point is, I woke up at 4:45am today. Haha. Why? Because I have a 7 o' clock class, dammit. And why did I have a 7 o' clock class? Well, it's because it's the start of sem-two of year one of five years. I hope you got that. Even if during the first term, I thought it went by like zip. Nuh-uh. This day was just pure, "But I don't want to go to school" Syndrome. It's amazing since never in my life have I wanted to not go to school. Ever. More than I do now. It's not so much that the subjects are crappy, the professors are boring and the block is bleh. No, not at all. In fact, my subjects, professors (so far), and especially my block are totally cool. I am just lazy.
I. Am. Lazy. Period. Dot. End.
That's the reason I got cranky all day. I don't know why the hell I feel so lazy and can't wait to go home when during the break, I couldn't wait to just get out of the house. It just goes to show just how uncontent human beings are in this world. I am no exemption and I admit that I am not easily contented--if I have ever been, anyway.
No worries though. Unlike I was before, I now have simple joys that take my day up and up and high and high. They're really simple and I'm really glad that I now have them. Unfortunately, with the exemption of this lovely "First Day High" (note: sarcasm), little things have a tendency to just tick me off. Luckily, I kept most of that to myself. Haha. I'm patting myself in the back right now...it's hard though. Anyway, simple joys; back to simple joys. These little things have kept me going in this strange time of adjustment. I suppose now its another replay of that--like a recurring dream that changes place or people, but not the event. You know? I guess that, despite all the laziness, procrastination and bitterness about going to school again (university, Mishie. Not school, university. Haha. Whatever), it is still another chance of renewal. After looking at myself, analyzing my first term. I still think I could have done better. It is true, that while I did make large changes and steps in my academic and personal life, I still have, and there always is, room for improvement.
I'm taking that room. And I'm making it mine.
This second term? Hah. Watch out. Right after I'm done with my denial phase (I still think it's vacation), I'll be back on my feet and ready to punch that semester in the face. I'm coming back.
With a vengence.
posted by Mishie at 4:27 AM
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